December 21, 2006
The Hotline's Catchiest Carols
To Capitol Hill I Go
(to the tune of "To Grandmother's House We Go")
I'm a big giver
And they get the goods:
To Capitol Hill I go.
For red and blue
The green gets through
To Capitol Shills I know.
Out-of-state earmarks
For out-of-state sharks
All done for the folks back home.
A protection game
By any name
Right under, rotunda, the Dome.
It's House Speaker Pelosi
(to the tune of "Dominick the Donkey")
Hey chingedy ching (he haw he haw) it's House Speaker Pelosi
chingedy ching (he haw he haw) the Italian Speaker Pelosi.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)
Murtha's got a little friend,
her name is Nancy P.
The cutest little donkey,
You never see her kick.
But when she visits her paisons,
With orders she will be.
Because the Democrats cannot win without unity.
Hey chingedy ching (he haw he haw) it's House Speaker Pelosi
chingedy ching (he haw he haw) the Italian Speaker Pelosi.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)
She's from San Francisco,
With chocolates on her desk.
Hey! Look at the mayor's daughter
On top of Democrats' nest.
A power suit from Armani
And a smile you can't ignore
The label on the inside
Says she came from Baltimore.
Hey chingedy ching (he haw he haw) it's House Speaker Pelosi
chingedy ching (he haw he haw) the Italian Speaker Pelosi.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)
Liberals sing and clap their hands
And Pelosi starts to dance.
She'll hold the Speaker's gavel
As Democrats get their chance.
Republicans sob, and shake their heads
And gear up for '08
While President Bush finds a woman in charge
And says, "Oh gee, that's great."
Hey chingedy ching (he haw he haw) it's House Speaker Pelosi
chingedy ching (he haw he haw) the Italian Speaker Pelosi.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)
Hey! Pelosi! Buona natale!
The Mormon Song
(to tune of Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song")
Break out the Golden Plate, here comes 2008.
So fun to guess the fate of our favorite Mormon candidate.
Mitt Romney has been a Mormon all his life.
And unlike Giuliani and McCain, he's only had one wife.
When you think like pundits in town who think it can't be done,
Here's a list of people who are Mormon, Mitt's not the only one.
Harry Reid's a Dem who'll lead the U.S. Senate,
And then there are Republicans Orrin Hatch and Robert Ben-nett.
Guess who eats together when Congress is in session,
Senator Mike Crapo, and Congressman Mike Simpson
George Allen's part Jewish; and he won't run in '08,
Romney lost a foe because of Macaca-gate.
Now on the war on terror, Mitt Romney won't be soft,
and he can form a Cabinet with
Chris Cannon and Brent Scowcroft -- (both Mormon)
So break out the Golden Plate, here comes 2008
If you go to see Salt Lake, the Marriot sure is great.
O.J. Simpson -- not a Mormon,
But guess who is, Governor Jon Huntsman.
Romney's got a plan to make it to the fall,
And if he does, he'll do better than Mo Udall.
You may be convinced that it's not that tough a fight
If Mitt gets help from the star of Napoleon Dynamite!
Not many Mormons are in the news biz --
Larry King isn't, but did you know that his wife is?
Go tell Gordon Hinkley, '08 will be here quickly,
McCain hopes that he'll face Hillary, but hey may not be the nominee.
So stay away from coffee, and better not drink whiskey
Cause maybe soon we all might see,
a Republican President named Mitt Romney.
Posted at 02:15 PM
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